I got a new IPOD last weekend mostly because of a coupon that appeared to be almost free until you get to the cash register, where they read you the fine print. I got it home and couldn't figure where the cassette went.
So I left it up to Ruth, the techie guru, to download songs from the internet. Since we have the same taste in songs one would think I would be ready for "Don't forget the Lyrics." To my surprise I found songs like "Harper Valley PTA" and "Wichita Lineman". I have heard these songs ad nauseum.
The only song that was the worst one ever written was "Winchester Cathedral". I haven't found that song yet but will keep looking. Need to have a serious talk with the guru.
SpongeBob
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The Army
I had a drill sargeant that didn't like me. Every morning he'd flip on the lights and banged a garbage can with a baseball bat to wake us up. It just set the tone for the whole day. Instead of saying, "Oh, Bobby, it's time to awake" he would yell, "YOU MAGGOTS BETTER GET OUT OF THAT BED AND FALL OUTSIDE IN FORMATION NOW!! MOVE IT!!MOVE IT!! Now if I were to go into Ruth's bedroom with a garbage can and a baseball bat for a wake up call, well.....
So we stood outside in the snow and dark with everyone wearing the same colored clothes and helmets to take attendance. If they were smart, they could have let us sleep and checked for empty bunks.
One night while standing guard duty, they gave me a flashlight with batteries so weak they wouldn't attract a mosquitoe. I noticed a rustling in the bushes and put the trusty Army Issue flashlight on it. Couldn't see a damn thing until the critter crossed the street and by the light of a distant streetlight I could make out the shadow of a skunk. I let it go.
I know some guys who never experienced Army life and the thrill of having machine gun tracer bullets flying overhead, or slicing onions for 500 men, or sleeping on the cold ground in wet clothes, or had an alarm clock that caused panic attacks. Some of us can truly appreciate a warm bed, naps, and clothes that aren't green.
Some guys don't know what they truly missed, like Carl.
SpongeBob
So we stood outside in the snow and dark with everyone wearing the same colored clothes and helmets to take attendance. If they were smart, they could have let us sleep and checked for empty bunks.
One night while standing guard duty, they gave me a flashlight with batteries so weak they wouldn't attract a mosquitoe. I noticed a rustling in the bushes and put the trusty Army Issue flashlight on it. Couldn't see a damn thing until the critter crossed the street and by the light of a distant streetlight I could make out the shadow of a skunk. I let it go.
I know some guys who never experienced Army life and the thrill of having machine gun tracer bullets flying overhead, or slicing onions for 500 men, or sleeping on the cold ground in wet clothes, or had an alarm clock that caused panic attacks. Some of us can truly appreciate a warm bed, naps, and clothes that aren't green.
Some guys don't know what they truly missed, like Carl.
SpongeBob
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